When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
My mother was a worrier, especially when we became teenagers. Or, it could be, it was during my teenage years, I recognized it more. As with any mother, when their children begin to drive, have other friends outside the neighborhood or church youth group, a mother's fears are heightened. However, I believe my mother's worrying was far more significant than simply being about other friends. In time, as I grew older, I became more and more selective in what information I shared with my mother so as not to exacerbate any sense of worry or concern for her.
I grew up going to church faithfully on Sunday mornings, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday evenings. My family was at any and all church-sponsored events or dinners. So, I know and firmly believe in my mother's strong faith and belief in the Lord Jesus Christ and in her salvation. But, she was such a worrier!
I became so selective that I never shared any bad news in our family life, or any concerns regarding my two boys, or any work related stress. In fact, you could say that I presented such a calm and content image, one could have mistaken us for the Ward Cleaver family! In reality, we were having typical marriage and family issues with boys, who became teens, who are now young adults, ages 19 and 23.
In my mother's last years, I tried very hard to reassure her that any and all days are good days. I believe in her last years, she became extremely worried and concerned about leaving this earth due to my brother's disability and how he would be cared for. My sister and brother joined me in reassuring her that we would continue to support and care for each other. I told her in the last week of her life that it was okay to let go; we would make sure my brother was taken care of. I felt that in her last days, she finally realized our strong support for each other as siblings would continue.
My sister and I were fortunate and blessed to be with my mother as she passed from this life to the next in May 2011. In a quiet and peaceful hospice room, I felt my mother was at peace and her worrying and anxiety were finally over. She was 91; her body had just worn out. It was a moment I will never forget.
During this season of Lent, I encourage you to remember God is your rock and your fortress in which you can take refuge. There is no need to worry or have anxious thoughts when Jesus is your personal Savior.
Psalms 97, 99 or 94